"This guy's teeth was so yellow that when smiles traffic slows down"

"Your Momma's so fat she looks like she is smuggling Volkswagens"

"Your Mama's so fat I didn't know whether to hug her or harpoon her"

"Just cause your head's so shaped like a bullet it doesn't make you a big shot"

Bonus Joke:

"If ugly was a vacation, boy you would never be home!"